Finally got my grade back after a week of holding my breath. I got an "A". Man - Why do I put myself through these things? I never know what grade I'm going to get until the very end. There have been times when I have been almost certain I would be at least passing a class when BAM! I get the rug pulled out from under me. I just goes to show you that you can't take anything for granted.
Now I'm enthralled in an introductory sociology class. It's an Internet class so I don't ever really meet the professor or the other students physically. But I do interact with them using e-mail and a message forum. I'm curious how we are all going to interact with each other.
I recieved some good news this past week, My financial aid appeal was approved. My financial aid had been denied because I had attempted too many credits without acually getting and AA degree. I was up to 99 credits attempted. You only need 60 to get an AA.

This waiting is killing me. I’m waiting to get my final test results for college algebra. I just want a “C” so I can go on to the next math class which is statistics. Math has never been easy for me. I’ve always had to work very hard to get through algebra. As a matter of fact I have been tortured with this algebra class for 22 years. The first few years I took it I didn’t get it at all. Then I made a few feeble attempts just to try again. The last couple of years I decided I needed to do this just to prove to myself that I could do it. First I took the pre-algebra class for no credit. Then I took the Intermediate pre-algebra class for no credit. Then I took college algebra. I sort of understood it. When it was time to take the final, I froze. I experienced test anxiety. My heart was racing; I could feel my heart thumping in my throat. I was sweaty, I couldn’t think. I had memory loss. I had a complete shutdown. After 4 hours of working on the final, I finally turned it in and I got a grade of 43 on it. I received a “D” in that class. I was so depressed about that for such a long time. I was having side effects from medication and it was messing with my mind. It reminded me of my grade school days when I would flunk a math test and feel like the stupidest person in the world.
I laid low for awhile. I finally adjusted to the medication, and I registered again and got a better tutor. I worked very hard day and night to get through college algebra again with a better grade. I had an “A “ average at the end of the course, I go to take the final which I studied for really hard and then I took the test fairly confident that I would do well. It was the same exact test. I knew how to do most of it. There were a couple of problems that I tried to do but I know I messed up. I reluctantly turned in my test. Then I go home and wait….. And I’m still waiting. I check the web page every hour to see if the instructor has graded the test yet. I sit with baited breath (what does that mean anyway?). Well here it is –I "Asked Jeeves"… Posted by James Briggs on January 18, 2003 at 17:51:35:
In Reply to: Re: Bated breath posted by R. Berg on January 18, 2003 at 17:36:24:
:: Would like to know The meaning of the phrase Waiting with baited breath??
: It's "bated breath." It means waiting while holding your breath; compare the popular saying "Don't hold your breath," used when the wait for something is expected to be long and, more likely, the thing may never come. "Bate" means "to lessen the force of; moderate" and is related to "abate" (American Heritage Dictionary).
This use of 'bated' is about the only example left in the English language; 'abate' is much more common. Both words come from the Old French "abatre", to "beat down" or "fell".
...If I get less than a 70 on the final it doesn’t matter what I got the rest of term, I still get a “D”and I have to take it over again. Waiting, waiting, waiting…still nothing. I guess it’s time to abate.

I dreamt that Nelson and I were in New York on vacation and he was in pain so he couldn’t go out. I went out and saw this performer who was a very beautiful girl or I just met a very beautiful girl. She invited me out for her birthday and I said yes so we go out and were going to different places and she’s so beautiful and we are having such a good time and I get so close to kissing her because she is so attractive.
In the basement were we were staying there were animals like calico cats dogs ands pigs. They all had the same calico pattern on their fur. I accidentally let one dog out of the basement and he ran away and I couldn’t catch him. It was the first time he ever was able to run free and he didn’t know how to at first then he started going faster and then he was happy to get away.

Thought about the first part of the dream: I read several Dan Savage columns dealing with bisexuals yesterday. The pros and cons of being one being in a relationship with a bisexual and why they seem to be not liked by gay men because they are too much trouble to be with, ET. They are outcasts in an outcast society.
My thoughts on that is that we are all to some extent a certain percentage male and female, it’s just that some percentages are larger than others. We’re all basically the same except for one chromosome.
Thought s about the second part of the dream: The animals in the basement signify that we as human beings even though we are different we are all the same. We strive to break out of forced behavior patterns thrust upon us by society as we strive to escape our social prisons.